The Power of Choice

by Bo Bennett, DTM

Where we are today is a result of choices we have made in our past. Choices as minor as what to have for breakfast to choosing what we want to do for a living. Each of us was born with the gift of free will and we have the right to choose our destiny by a series of lifelong decisions. Accept responsibility for who you are and where you are today and understand that with the exception of some external forces, you are where you are because of the choices you have made.

What about choices like going to work? You may be saying, "I have a family to support and I cannot choose to skip work. If I skip work, I get fired." The fact is, you choose not to skip work and keep your job. The choice of skipping work is yours and you must accept the consequences of each of your decisions. Even in the extreme situation that someone has a gun to your head, you have the choice to do what they request, or get shot. Choice is always present and always yours.

What about the person who gets hit by a bus? He obviously did not choose to get hit by a bus, but providing he is still alive, he can certainly choose how he responds to the situation. He can spend the rest of his days focusing on "why me?" and how unfortunate he is, or make millions writing the best seller "Life After Being Hit by a Bus" and help others who happened to get whacked by a Greyhound while picking up a penny on the highway. Although we cannot always choose what happens to us or around us, we can choose how we deal with it.

A successful person understands this concept well and understands that her choices make her who she is today. She does not use the negative statement "I HAVE to" but rather "I WANT to". Having to do something makes you subconsciously believe that you have no choice in the situation, which is rarely ever true. Once you truly understand that you choose to do something rather than have to do it, your attitude becomes positive and you see the benefits rather than focusing on the negative.

Other people will respect you for your candor when being more truthful with a statement such as, "I prefer to". The words "I have to" are often used as a defense mechanism and used as an excuse not to do something. Understand that you have a choice in the matter and be savvy enough to avoid the words "I have to". Those with whom you communicate will respect you more for it.

Remembering Numbers

by Bo Bennett, DTM

In today's computerized, handheld PC, and pen recorder filled world, there seems little need to remember numbers. The truth is, despite all the gadgets available there are still times when accessing a gadget to jot down or record numbers is just inconvenient or simply not possible. For these times, we rely on "ol' unreliable" (our memory).

All recent theories in mind development agree that, like the universe, there is no known limit to one's memory. Remembering people, faces, sounds, smells, sights and other more "interesting" things than numbers seems to be much easier for most people. Why is that?

Numbers, unlike most concrete objects, cannot be visualized well. They do not make a strong enough impression in the mind for us to be able to recall the numbers at will. Unlike trying to remember a vivid image, numbers just do not do well in our memories.

There IS a solution to this, and a very good one at that. It is referred to by many as the "Peg System". With the Peg System, you associate numbers 0 - 9 with sounds while creating words with the sounds made from the numbers you are trying to remember. Once the word is created, you vividly picture the words and associate them in a strange and memorable way. With this system, you only need to "memorize" ten general sounds associated with the ten numbers 0 through 9. Once you have those memorized, you will be able to memorize and recall a number of any length, forward and backward for as long as you wish to keep the number in your memory.

First, here is what you need to memorize: there is a non-vowel sound or sounds associated with each of the ten numbers. These sounds have nothing to do with the sounds of pronouncing the numbers. If there are multiple sounds associated with a single number, you will notice that the sounds are almost the same, as in the case of number 9 with the hard “p” and “b” sound. Here are the ten numbers and their associated sounds that need to be memorized:

1 = t,d,th
2 = n
3 = m
4 = r
5 = l
6 = ch,sh,j,cz
7 = k,g,qu
8 = f,v
9 = p,b
0 = s,z,tz

Therefore, to remember the number 1, we can use the word "tie" and visualize a crazy looking, colorful tie. Even though the word "tie" also has a long "i" sound, the long "i" is not one of our 10 non-vowel sounds so is ignored. These ignored sounds help us to construct words easily. Technically, because of the other sounds associated with the number 1, we can also use the word "die" or even the word "the" to remember the number 1, but the word "tie" is much easier to visualize.

In a more practical example, let us assume our gym membership number is "4268" and we need to present this number each time we check in. As we read the number, we make the sounds and start constructing the words as we can make them up. The numbers 42 can be the word "rain" (4 is the "r" sound and 2 is the "n" sound) and the numbers 68 could be the word "chef". When we create the first word, we need to associate the first word with something that will help us to remember what the numbers are for. Better yet, if you can create a single "scene" that will reveal the number to you, then do it. My image would be rain falling from the ceiling right over the sign-in counter at the gym, and then the rain turns to chefs. This is a hard image to forget and an easy one to picture. Now each time I come to gym I see the mental picture and get the number 4268 from r-n-ch-f or rain chef.

It is referred to as the Peg System because like hanging a hat on a peg, we are "hanging" our first image (hat) on the item that is associated with the number (peg). This first association is vital because otherwise you will have a bunch of demented images floating around in your head with no home.

Remembering numbers can not only be a great party trick to impress your friends, but it can come in handy when the need arises to remember important numbers. Train your memory. Practicing this technique will not only help with your memory recall, but it will help with your creative visualization as well.

Remembering and Using People's Names

by Bo Bennett, DTM

It has been said that a person's name is the most important word in the world to that person. Using a person's name in conversation is one of the best ways to build rapport. Sounds good, but if you are like most people, the names of people you meet go in one ear and out the other. So step one is remembering the name.

Many memory experts believe that we all have perfect memories. We are capable of remembering just about any detail from our lives no matter how far back and how specific. The challenge is recalling the information from our memory.

There are dozens of techniques for remembering names; some work for some people and some do not. For this reason, I am listing many of them for you to choose the one that works best for you. You may want to adapt a few techniques rather than just one. For example, use a visual technique for those you meet face to face, and when they tell you the names of their children, use an association technique to associate the person you met with their children's names. The key again is to use what works best for you.

Here are some steps that should all be followed each time you meet someone:

1) LISTEN AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE NAME. So obvious, yet so overlooked. Pay attention to the name when it is given to you and make sure you can recall it 5 seconds later. If you can, you are halfway to putting this name in your long-term memory.

2) Repeat immediately. The first sentence out of your mouth after hearing a name should include that name. "It is a pleasure to meet you, Jennie". Use this instead of "Jennie, it is nice to meet you" because saying the person's name right after they say it is often a mindless automated response that does very little, if anything, toward helping you remember the name.

3) Repeat often. Be careful with this one. You do not want to sound like a psycho, or worse a pushy salesperson, by overdoing it. However, people love to hear their own name and this technique will keep your listener interested in what you have to say.

4) End the conversation with their name. This is the best way to end any conversation. "Jennie, it was great meeting you". This not only once more sinks their name into your memory, but says to the person that you have cared enough to remember their name.

5) Comment on and/or ask questions about the name. "Jennie, have you always been called Jennie or do people call you Jen as well?" or "Do you spell Jennie with a 'y' or 'ie'?" If it is a unique name, ask about its origin or say that it is a beautiful name (if you really think it is).

6) Review. After the conversation is over with the person, review their name and face in your mind several times. Do this frequently over the next 24 hours. As you get better with steps 1-5, this step will become less important.

Memory is linked to your senses and emotions. As you incorporate more emotion and more of your senses into remembering a name, the name will become more difficult to forget.

Now here are some techniques used to remember names:

1) Face association. Examine a person's face discreetly when you are introduced. Try to find an unusual feature, whether ears, hairline, forehead, eyebrows, eyes, nose, mouth, chin, complexion, etc. Create an association between that characteristic, the face, and the name in your mind. The association may be to associate the person with someone you know with the same name, or may be to associate a rhyme or image from the name with the person's face or defining feature.

2) Substitution. Take a person's name and substitute objects that you can visualize with that name. Then associate those objects with the person somehow. For example, "Murphy" can be substituted with "Murphy's oil soap". Visualize the person pouring the soap all over them while dancing the jig. Why dancing the jig? The more outrageous you make the visualization, the better it will stick to memory. Just try not to laugh when making the association, especially if the person is in the process of telling you they have just been fired.
3) Paint their name on their forehead. OK, not literally, but in your imagination. Use your favorite color paint and clearly see each letter as you paint it. If you are standing closer than a few feet from the person, do not look directly at their forehead but rather between their eyes.

4) Association with someone you know. Associate the person you meet with someone you know or know of with the same name. Then visualize the person you know in the same situation as the person you have met. For example, if you meet a "Will" picture your Uncle Will (assuming you have an Uncle Will) standing there, in that same spot. To make the association stronger, visualize your uncle Will doing something that he is known for doing - like his loud drunken laugh.

If you forget the person's name at any time during the conversation, THIS IS THE TIME TO ASK. Do not be embarrassed to say something such as, "Forgive me but I've forgotten your name..." or "I am sorry, what was your name again?" Remember that most people forget names. Those who make it a point to humble themselves and ask for a name again are seen as someone who cares about learning the name.

The more you do this, the more second nature it will become and remembering names will be an automatic process for you. Using names in conversation will take you a long way in building and maintaining rapport, as well as helping others to both remember you and like you. You will soon find that remembering names becomes a game and it is really quite fun, not to mention one of the best skills that anyone can possess!

A Starter Guide To Self Improvement

Submitted By: John Edmond

Staying calm, composed and maintaining strong self esteem in today's tough environment can be difficult but is not impossible if you follow a few simple guidelines. Here are 6 tips you can use as a starter guide to self improvement.

Everything and everyone else around you can affect your self esteem. Other people can deliberately or inadvertently damage your self image. Unchecked people and circumstances can ultimately destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won't even notice. Don't let these influences get the best of you. But what should you avoid?

1 : A Negative Work Environment

Beware of a "dog eat dog" environment where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive and working extra is expected and not rewarded. In this environment no one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch, dinner, and stay at work late into the night. Unless you are very fortunate most of the time you will work too hard with no help from others around you. This type of atmosphere will ruin your self esteem. This is not just healthy competition, at its worst it is brutal and very damaging.

2: Other Peoples Behaviour

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers - whatever you want to call them, all have one thing in common - an overriding desire to prosper at the expense of others. Avoid them and do not be tempted to join them. They may get some short term advantage with their behaviour but deep down most are very insecure, unhappy and ashamed of their behaviour. For most their self esteem disappeared a long time ago. Seeing someone like this prosper is sickening but do not join them - you are better than that!

3: A Changing Environment

In today's fast moving society it is difficult if not impossible to avoid change. Changes challenge our paradigms and tests our flexibility, adaptability and alter the way we think. Changes can make your life difficult and may cause stress but, if it's inevitable, you must accept it, don't fight it and in time find ways to improve your life. Try to manage change and try to avoid multiple changes at the same time. If a particular change can't be avoided welcome it. Change will be with us forever, we must learn to live with it.

4: Past Experience

We all carry "baggage" - past experiences which have moulded us to who we are today, but some people live in their past experiences - usually something that hurt and still hurts. It's okay to cry out when you experience pain but don't let pain dominate your life as it will transform itself into fears and phobias. If something painful happens, or has happened to you, find a way to minimise the effects. Discuss it with a friend, a family member or a professional if necessary and move on. Don't let it continue to dominate your life and dictate your future actions. Because something bad has happened doesn't mean it will happen again. Learn what you can from any bad experience and move on.

5: Negative World View

The television news is full of doom and gloom and it is true that around the world there are many people suffering war, famine or other natural or man-made disasters. Whilst I do not suggest you should not care and do nothing, remember that there are many beautiful positive things happening too. Don't wrap yourself up with all the negative aspects around the world. Learn to look for beauty too for, in building self esteem, we must learn how to be positive in a negative world.

6: Determination Theory

Are we a product of our biological inherited characteristics (nature) or a result of the influences we absorb throughout out lives (nurture)? I believe how we are is due to a mixture of both nurture and nature and as a result our behavioural traits are not fixed. Whilst it is true that some things are dictated by genetics (for example race, color and many inherited conditions) your environment and the people in your life have a major effect on your behaviour. You are your own person, you have your own identity and make your own choices. The characteristics your mother or father display are not your destiny. Learn from other people's experience, so you don't suffer the same mistakes.

Are some people are born leaders or positive thinkers? I don't believe so. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing on positive experiences for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. No-one will come to you and give you permission to build your self esteem and improve your self. It is in your control.

It can be hard to keep positive, especially when others and circumstances seem to be conspiring to pull you down. You need to protect yourself and give yourself a chance to stay positive. Improving your self esteem gives you that protection.

One way to stay positive is to minimise your exposure to harmful influences while using affirmations to boost the positive influences in your life. Constantly reminding yourself of the good things in your life will keep the impact of negative influences to a minimum.

Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Time Mastery

Time Mastery: Part 1
by Bo Bennett, DTM

The successful individual understands and appreciates the value of time. Time is one of our precious resources that is rarely valued as it should be. Time management is having control over our time. We can't stop time or reverse it, but we can use it to our advantage.

There are thousands of resources on time management available; however, most I have come across seem to be written by employers wanting to maximize their profits by getting more work out of their employees. I believe to be a true master of time you must realize how valuable this skill is in the achievement of your own success. Mastering your time, not just managing it, will bring you the following benefits:

Increase your personal productivity. Imagine getting twice as much done each day as you do now without working any harder or longer. How much would that be worth to you? This is not only possible, but it can be expected when you become a true master of your time.

Relieve stress. One of the main reasons so many people suffer from stress is that they feel their lives are disorganized. They often feel "under the gun" and like they have too much to do and too little time to do it. People often feel as if they are constantly playing catch-up rather than forging ahead. They feel as if they are just "spinning their wheels" while not getting anywhere. Does any of this sound familiar? With any of these feelings, how could one not be stressed? Once you master your time, these feelings, and the associated stresses, will be history.

Forge ahead. This is the main benefit that most time management books, lecturers, and resources fail to get across to their audiences. When you master your time, you have time needed to work on your life purpose. You can no longer make excuses (by this time you should not be making excuses anyway) that "you have not got the time". You have the same 24 hours in a day as Bill Gates has--the difference is how you choose to spend your time. Forging ahead is making the time for what you are passionate about doing while still doing the things you need to do to pay the bills. This is something that all successful people must do.

There are many benefits associated with traditional time management, however, they are beyond the scope of this article. Forging ahead alone should be enough motivation for you to reevaluate how you spend your time.

Here are some good time management techniques that act as the foundation of time mastery.

• Catalog your time. Make a log of what you do in the average day. Do this for about a week.
• Eliminate wastage from your day. Stop doing the things that bring you no benefit whatsoever. You will be surprised how many you will find in your day.
• Make "to do" lists. Prioritize your activities and assign a time to each as to how long it will take. This will help you begin the activities you know you have time to finish.
• Schedule calls. Set aside time for both incoming and outgoing calls. Phone calls can interrupt your workflow. Once you are interrupted from a productive mental state of mind, it is often difficult to get back into that state of mind and productivity suffers.
• Learn to say "no". Saying no in advance to extra work is much easier than having to apologize later for not being able to complete something on time. Refuse excessive workloads.
• Do not neglect long-term projects. Just because they may not be due soon, they will be due eventually. Working on these projects often will save you from the last minute crunch that causes stress.
• Be decisive. Make decisions quickly. It is important to have enough information to make an informed decision, however, too often people do not know what "enough" is and hold off on making decisions. Most of the time, a poor decision is better than no decision.
• Deal with e-mail effectively. Make use of spam filters to stop from having to read the garbage that comes to your inbox. Create sub-folders to organize your incoming e-mail, but be sure to keep the things that need your attention in the short term in your inbox. Once you file it away, it is often neglected.
• Don't procrastinate. Procrastination is putting off until tomorrow what you should be doing today. This is so important that I have devoted a whole day to it later in this course. For now, just do your best not to put things off.

Time management skills are the foundation for time mastery. They are to be used in conjunction with time mastery skills for maximum benefit. Tomorrow, we will discuss the techniques and practices of time mastery.